My Heart
by Hoseki14
Summary: PewdieCry Pewdiepie x Cryaotic Cry has been acting dejected lately, and Pewdie is trying so hard to help. Neither one thought that something like this could occur. Warning: Rated T for Cry's foul mouth and Something else Cry did that I can't say. Also, watch out for angst. It's better than the summery.


"Speaking"  
'Thinking'  
**Flashback**

XxMy HeartxX  
Ryan looked into the mirror with his bright emerald eyes. Crying had swollen them red. "I should have never said it." He said, yelling at his reflection. He ran his hand through his messy raven black hair, looking back at his own reflection angry and upset with himself.

** "Come on Cry. You need to tell me. I can help."

"No you can't, Felix!" Cry said sternly, using his friends real name. He felt the burning sensation in his eyes. He squeezed them closed tight, trying to holding back the tears.

"You can't do it alone. Ryan, please."

"How would you know!" He snapped. at the Swede. "You're never lonely. You have over eight million people who care about you! Your family! And," he said choking "Marzia." He let a but single tear fall down his soon as the name had left his lips.

Marzia. Felix had Marzia. He had someone to love that would love him back. "What the fuck would you know about being lonely?" He said letting the barricade break as a river of tears broke free and fell down his cheeks. He turned away, as to avoid confrontation for what he had said.

"I..." Felix was speechless. He had never seen Cry so upset. Never had he seen the other man so weak; so vulnerable.  
It was true.  
Almost all of it, at least. Marzia had left him, unable to take the stress of his constant paranoia. The thought made him feel sick.

He had over eight million subscribers and had all of his family. Cry truly had no one. His parents had died in a tragic car accident when he was young. Felix was lucky enough that Cry had told him about it, especially since he had told no one other than Russ. His brother and sister didn't talk to him much, even though he had made an effort to contact him. "Y-you have m-me and R-Russ." He stuttered, now crying as well.

Cry looked at him with an unreadable expression. So many emotions were swimming around in his chest and in his head that it all made him want to scream. He felt even more guilty and depressed when he saw the other crying. "A-and I n-no longer h-have M-mar-zz-ia. She left m-me" Felix choked out, cringing as he said her name.

Cry looked at him sincerely upset that lost someone he knew Felix held close. He knew exactly why the beautiful Italian had left. Pewdiepie had become very paranoid lately. The games had really been messing with him. It was all to much for her to take. "I'm so sorry, Pewds." He said upset. He was frustrated that he even brought her up. He couldn't stand seeing Felix this disheveled. He couldn't take it any longer. He grabbed a pillow a screamed.

Felix looked down at Cry as he screamed into the pillow, wetting it with his tears. Felix gently put a hand atop Cry's played with his messy black hair. He bent down slightly and kiss the top of his friends forehead, the warm lips making his forehead burn.

Cry was shocked. He looked up at the Swede who was blushing at his own actions. Ryan himself was blushing. He let another set of tears of unknown reasons slide down his cheeks. Felix pulled him into a hug and let him rest his head on his shoulder, rubbing his back soothingly.

"Ryan you need to tell me." Felix said in a whisper. The ravens haired man shook his head and put his hands on his friends chest, pushing away from the comforting embrace.

Cry couldn't take it any longer. He really could tell no one; why couldn't Felix understand that? It made him so frustrated that his best friend couldn't understand something that simple. He grabbed his jacket and shoes and ran out the door without bothering to put either on.

"Cry! Wait!" Felix Screamed as he ran out the door after him.

Cry was now soaked and standing in the middle of the street, emerald eyes illuminated by the moonlight.  
"Pl-please. Just don't ta-talk to me. Ever again." He said before running down out into the night, leaving Felix in the pouring rain.

Felix fell to his knees, knowing he had pushed him to far. "R-Ry-an." He yelled weakly into the night. He was crying. His best friend had just told him he didn't want to talk to him...ever again. He had lost but another loved one.**

"Why?" Cry yelled at his reflection as he punched the mirror. He slid down the wall with his bleeding fist. He pulled his knees to his chest let a new set of tears fall. Why had he said it?

-One month later-

The rain hadn't stopped in over a month. Felix was curled into a ball on his uncomfortable couch, watching the small droplets of water scurry down the window. He sighed and laid his forehead against the cool glass. He couldn't get Cry's eyes out of his head; even after an entire month. They were such a beautiful color, but filled with such loneliness and sadness. The emotion was so raw; so strong; so heartbreakingly real.

The Swede had tried many times to contact Ryan, but to no avail; he just couldn't get ahold of the raven. Ryan had even stopped making videos and deleted his YouTube and Tumblr. He had to face it; Cry really didn't want to talk him.

He just, couldn't believe it. He couldn't accept it.

It was like being able to know something, know it with all your heart, but yet, you just cant seem to bring yourself to believe it; albeit it holds the truth.

He shook his head and stood up, grabbing his jacket and sliding in his shoes. He started running though the rain, not stopping until he had run twelve blocks and was completely soaked. He crawled up the stairs to Cry's home, giving the door a firm knock before sliding to his knees.

*/Linebreak\*

Cry sat in the bathroom, staring at the pile of broken glass. It had been there since the day he had injured his hand... And the day he said those dreadful words to the his best friend.

Ryan crouched down and picked up a shard, dragging harshly across his wrist, creating a new scar along with all the old ones. This cutting happened long before the mirror had broken, but the mirrors shards hurt more then a blade because of the reason it was broken; it held both physical and emotional pain.

The tears streamed down his face in floods, each tear reminding him of the look on Felix's face. He started at the blood dripping from his wrist, watching each crimson bead drip to the ground, and silently hoping that the one he saw would be the last. His mind flooded with images of crimson pools, seeing his lifeless body floating in each one as his emerald, glassy eyes stared at the sky, yearning to be somewhere else. It was a terribly gorgeous scene he had found himself in.

He broke from his trance when he heard a large bang coming from the front of the house, his eyes snapping up to the noise. Ryan slowly stood, grabbing a towel from the sink to wrap around his injured wrist. He walked with his head down, throwing the door open to be met with empty doorframe. He leaned out and looked around, still holding the blue towel tightly around his wrist. Suddenly, he felt a small pressure on the leg of his pants. Surprised, he looked down to see a hand holding onto his pant leg for dear life, as if he would disappear if they let go. His gaze followed up the jacket clad arm to a mop of messy, wet blond hair.

"Ryan. P-please..." The man whispered, clenching the material harder. "Don't hate me." He said louder. "I want to help you!" He yelled, his head whipping up to stare straight into the raven hair man's eyes with determined blue orbs. The man began to stand, reaching up to grab Ryan's jacket. "Let me help you, Ryan." He said, putting his hands on his shoulders and pulling him into a hug.

"F-Felix, what are you doing?" Ryan asked, gripping the towel on his arm tighter. He was pulled flush against Felix's chest.

"My heart beat?" Felix asked, pulling Ryan's head down to rest on his chest. "Do you feel it?"

Ryan nodded, head still against the other's chest. "B-but what does that have to do with anything?"

"It beats only for you, Ryan." Felix whispered, laying his head down into Ryan's messy raven hair. "I don't want you to be lonely anymore. I want to be with you. I want to help you."

Tears began cascading down the pale face. Ryan looked up at him with hopeful emerald eyes. "But, why?"

Felix tightened his grip around the other as Ryan's lithe form began to shake. "My life would be nothing without you. I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore." He said, lightly placing his hand over the one Ryan held on the towel, that had a small spot of blood seeping from the other side. "Please, Ryan. Just let me help you." Felix whispered. "Let me love you. Please."

A/N: Whelp. That ending sucked ass.  
This was a PewdieCry written to the song 'My Heart' by Paramore. It took forever because you all know Im a lazy fuck. Seriously. I started this in like December. It's June.  
-cue the sound of crowd gasping-

ALSO:

I'm still working on the second chapter of 'Roof Tops'. It's a Snund(SnakexJund) smutty thing I wrote. It was originally only supposed to be a short (and I mean short) oneshot I has written for my friend, Cloud, but I'm going to continue it with a full smut because of a review somebody left. Ive decided to make it a different story completely, and it's title will be 'Bathrooms'. So, be looking out for that.

That is all  
Che~  
R&R


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